happy anniversary!

It’s been a really, really happy weekend. We hibernated and it was perfect. We laughed a ton, took in a play at Barter, watched a movie, put together our bedroom which now shelters us with chocolate colored walls that I love, and laid around testing out baby names on each other. Just normal life, really, and still, I felt like my heart might explode with gratefulness. For a gift, Kyle surprised me with a perfectly small and wonderful point and shoot camera. I’m so tired of lugging the big daddy camera everywhere we go so this was the best gift ever to me.

I’m not always good at noticing him in every day life. I gush about my friends and co-workers or dream about life 2-3 months down the road. I live two steps ahead of myself and because of that I miss him more times than not. But this weekend, I was present and it reminded me a thousand times over, of what it means to be me–living life next to him.
happy anniversary Kyle.
love you, I do.

missing pieces?

that’s how I feel inside lately.
or maybe it’s just that I’m missing God.
I don’t always feel the ache.
but I do…miss Him.
sometimes it surprises me.
I felt it this Sunday, in church, and it lingers.
It crept up as a physical presence and lodged itself in my throat.

I also realized for the umpteenth time that I miss the world of hospice.
it’s my ‘africa’ over here.
I prefer it to good hours and no stress.

As is true with all of us, to some degree, while some more significant things are stirring deep within, there has been plenty of activity to keep us busy at the surface level this past week. Last weekend we took the kiddos to Carowinds (an amusement park). Trust me, I could have reserved an entire blog just about this. Pregnant women should simply not go to theme parks…especially pregnant women who’s only clothes that fit are terribly incompatible with 100 degree heat and humidity. The kids are worth it. Greatest youth ever, in my opinion, but I temporarily lost my mind that fateful day. :) Needless to say, I am now the proud owner of pants that look like they could swallow me, whole. And they are GLORIOUS…even if they are lacking in the WOW factor. Also this past week, I have discovered that my normal filter–the one that typically only says things that are socially acceptable and pleasing to most all, is faulty and failing more times than not. no joke. I say it like it is these days, friends. Megs looks like Meg’s, but look out!!
I felt him today!!! really, truly felt him. He feels like a muscle spasm in my low abdomen. :) But I LOVE it. and amazingly, I can feel it a little from the outside too. Kyle doesn’t know it yet but as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to force him to keep one hand planted on my stomach until he feels him too. poor guy. ;)

Sunday, we primed and painted our bedroom. Kyle and I would happily live in unfinished rooms if not for some big motivating reason to get things done. Finally, the horrible, coffee shop orange is gone. Problem is, I have to…once again…pick a color. ughhhh. I’m SO BAD AT THIS!! I wanted to branch out, do something different (because we all know how well that worked the last time) but after standing before the paint swatches forever I resorted to old faithful…sigh. Our walls will be mocha. Sorry luka-so predictable–but at least we know we’ll like it! haha.

Tonight, we paint and then tomorrow night we have quite a bit to do to get ready for part one of our home study on Friday. That’s right…soon and very soon we’ll get to try out this foster parenting stuff on the weekends. yay!!

that’s all for now.

movie night on the deck

ahhhh, summer.

IT’S A….

BOY!!!

YAY!!!!!!
So I know the picture above may be difficult to decipher but the little arrows definitely point to the evidence. ;) I know you’re looking up at his bottom so you see two femur bones, some umbilical cord and ta da….the proof!
We have the real ultrasound with Dr. Green this coming Tuesday but my friend’s husband is an ultrasound tech and he was kind enough to give us some good quality time with the little guy. He was on the move, kicking, trying to flip, opening his mouth, waving at the camera…it was in.credible. It also made me think ‘must lay off the caffeine.” ai ai ai.
ha ha.

After our last ultrasounds where he always looked like a tiny blob, this was the most exciting thing ever for me. The second I saw him pop up on the screen I was completely smitten. There IS a baby in there and if it’s possible to think ultrasound pictures are adorable that’s exactly how I felt!!! Knowing we were once hours away from the operating table–it is an incredible thing to know that he measures perfectly normal, with a 4 chamber heart, 10 fingers and toes. still a miracle.

My plan–which sounded amazing and lovely to me–was to find out what we were having while Kyle was out of town. I was going to surprise him on Fathers day with a gift from his baby girl or baby boy. BUT…I’m terrible at surprises, as we all know, so minutes after he came through the door Wednesday night, we were on the couch laughing and celebrating with our pictures as I gushed my secret. Kyle will get to experience the goodness of seeing him in person, on Tuesday. Yes, it’s true he was hoping for a girl but he has the same look on his face that I do on mine. So happy and grateful.

We have a book of pictures that we love but these are the most fun and exciting. :)
happy Fathers day, husband.

18 weeks

catching up…

Where to begin??? I feel like I have so much I’d like to write about–the past few weeks have been booked solid with fabulous friends and good times. First there was our long anticipated Sex and the City debut. It was quite a production, even for us here in East TN. Everyone, minus your’s truly, of course, were dressed to the nines. I was feeling very Megs in my jeans and t-shirt top…but I believe I might be covered under the pregnancy “umbrella of grace”…if there is such a thing. It was a really fun night and I wouldn’t have wanted to watch that movie with anyone other than Luka and his entourage of high fashion ladies. Why he hangs out with me is, again, a bit of a mystery. Kyle, however, is most grateful. In fact as I was off to the SATC gala, he was on a track at Bristol Motor Speedway, getting far too up close and personal with monster trucks and dragsters. :)
I cried buckets at the movie–and completely missed the three girls who represent my version Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte. For photos of the big night, click on Luke or Nicole’s blogs to the right.
In between there, we went to Dollywood–also documented on Luke’s blog. ;) Another fun day with good friends.

And the other big news worth writing about was this past weekend when Kyle’s sister (lori) and family (jim, riley and carson) stayed with us. Oh my gosh…I miss family. Seriously, Riley has grown up so much. She almost talks like a preteen but has those classic kid moments when she oohs over cinderella slippers and sleeps clutching her flashlight (with the light on). Our nephew Carson, now 4 months old was the quietest, most content child I have ever been around. I wanted to squeeze him all weekend long because he’s perfectly loveable-every bit of him. They definitely have us wrapped around their fingers. Things have changed quite a bit since the days when we used to get together…drinking cocktails, playing cards, and enduring the dreaded 10 mile hikes (right Jim?) but we always, always, love spending time with them. So thanks for coming guys, we love you. I’ll post a few of my favorite pics from the weekend…I didn’t realize until posting this blog that I only took pictures of the kiddos. None of the adults. :) We’ll do better next time.

I have more words stewing around in my heart but I’ll break em up for the sake of all who read. Kyle…if you read this, we miss you already. hurry home.

happy feet at the blue plum festival

to be three, again. ;)

kyle and jim, with our monkey child

“again!”…the phrase we heard after each time her feet hit the pavement

the boy who equally has our hearts

nothing but smiles

chillin at the water park

if only this wasn’t blurry…grrrr.

Jim and Riley at Wetlands

after effects of the plastic slide

memorial day weekend

It’s been a fun weekend–nothing out of the ordinary–just regular life, made even more enjoyable by the sunshine and an extra day for both of us to be home together. Today we went biking on a linear trail in Erwin. It was soooo beautiful–lots of ponds and rivers; people out fishing; the mountains were gorgeous. I almost forgot about how out of shape I am as I drank in my surroundings. There was no getting too nostalgic up in the dome because I was perfectly grounded by the fierce burn that would occasionally grab hold of my legs. :) must. work. out. my silent mantra continues.

I’m always a bit homesick on days like this. I miss hanging with the family-I miss holidays with the Litschers–our trusty lifelong friends who spent days like this hanging at the pool or grilling out. Who knew how lucky we were back then?? I wonder who will be that for our kids?? Dad and Rhonda were in Boulder this weekend, visiting my brother, and my mind constantly drifted to them. I knew they were grilling out; I imagined the goodness of how it feels when you’re with people who know you, cracks and all, and still prefer you to all others; I know they spent most of the time laughing. I tried my best not to call them and mom every day but I failed. I wanted little pieces of them and a taste of what they were experiencing. yep. homesick…or just sick for the familiar comforts of family. We should have flown mom here for the long weekend–given the events of her week, that would have been something-haha. maybe next year?

So no big updates tonight; just a little pause to digest the past 72 hours.
Sadly, I was ready for bed at 7:15…so glam, me in my robe with my slippers and remote. ;)

Have a good week, friends.

a few pics

the same warning applies…

you asked, so here’s a few. honestly, I feel a bit ridiculous posting these…and I have a feeling these sentiments will grow exponentially with each passing month. For those who would prefer to peek not, I’m using links. :) it’s a bare belly because fully clad, I really don’t look that different. ;)
3 months (14 weeks)

side shot
front shot
full shot

ah, pregnancy.

here’s a disclaimer for the male readers out there. you may not want to read this…unless you’re really, really comfortable with talk about female anatomy. don’t send me notes that anything made you uncomfortable because this is your warning. :)

These are the stories I was told this week:
“when I was nursing, my nipples cracked and bled. One time after I nursed my daughter I saw blood in her mouth and I freaked out thinking something was wrong with her. Then I realized, oh no…it’s just MY blood…from MY BREAST!!!”

“i got hemorrhoids so bad after my delivery. One night I was in the car, driving, and I thought I was going to die from the pain in my rear. There was snow on the ground so I pulled over, filled up a plastic bag with snow and shoved it between my cheeks for the rest of the drive.”

“I tore so bad with my first baby that I literally tore through my rectum.”

and a story not from this week, but one that left an equally freaky impression:
“I always thought that your milk came out one hole in the nipple (like a bottle). But no! Wait until you get into the shower…the hot water hits your chest…and milk shoots out in all kinds of directions, like a sprinkler.”

ai ai ai…seriously??? One day I literally felt woozy from the happy stories that people so willingly and delightfully shared. So far, I’ve been fortunate in that I don’t have too many stories to add to the list and for your sake, i’ll keep my few unpleasant details to myself.

We’ll post some pictures of the growing belly this weekend. As weird and crazy as it all is, I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t love it.

the gift

Our good friend Kari called last night to say that she and her family were headed to Duke. Her mom has been on the transplant list-waiting for a liver. Last night, they got the call. I could tell by Kari’s voice that a million emotions were raging through her body. This is, in so many ways, the miracle they’ve been waiting for but the “what if’s” as they gathered their things and piled into the car, probably felt tangible in the air.
It’s the ‘what if’ part that there’s never words for: all those hopes and fears and unknowns. Having recently been in limbo ourselves, I felt what went unspoken, in the shaky parts of her voice. I didn’t want to shout with joy about what might be because I knew it was all she could do to get through the minutes, one by one.

About an hour ago, we got word that her mom is in surgery! Right now a transplant is taking place which has the potential to change their lives forever. please pray for them if you read this.
And please pray, too, for the family of the donor.

for one of the happiest transplant/love stories ever, click here.

a glimpse into Nash-vegas

enjoying the sunshine

I don’t really know how to put my weekends with my girls into words. And though I promised photos, there’s no perfect picture that captures what we did there. In fact, most of the shots are indoor and boring; amusing, I would imagine, only to us. :) I guess that’s because the highlight of the weekend was each other–and our time was spent rolling from one topic to another…as we walked; as we drove; as we ate; as we laid in bed trying to go to sleep; and again as our eye lids cracked open a few hours later. In retrospect, it wouldn’t have mattered much about where our destination was because I remember little about the place, and much about what is going on in the lives of ‘them’. It also goes without saying that our photographer extraordinaire was sick, sick, sick for 24 full hours. She DID take pics once the bug passed, so I’m sure I’ll feel compelled to post those once we get them but for now,
a few of the highlights.

three beaming faces that mean everything to me.
one very tiny, but cozy condo;
one very, very sick, vomiting friend. :(
ice cream on the streets of Nashville;
music blaring on the streets downtown;
the energy of the city;
soul baring on a stretch of grass, under the sun.
a few drinks to celebrate being together;
up til 3:00 talking;
talking, talking, talking.
politics, family, motherhood, careers, relationships, God…all the taboo issues minus the taboo.
pedicures;
baby gifts;
juno;
a little bit older;
a little bit more bold in who we are and what we believe,
but very much the same.
it was a weekend that was good for the soul.

a night out: dinner and drinks at jackson’s

there’s a pre-shot of marcia, on the previous day, where her face is a lovely shade of green. I’ll leave that to the imagination. Here she is, one day later, looking lovely and refreshed.
<

dinner–soooo tasty. but never the same without the 4th part of us.

pedicures

Nashville, here we come!!!

“In the end, I think that I will like that we were sitting on the bed, talking & wondering where the time has gone.” -storypeople

Tomorrow, as soon as my work day is done, I’m hopping in the car and heading to Nashville for a little R & R with my girls from Wisconsin!! We haven’t been together like this in forever–no babies; no husbands; no agenda; just us…and plenty of time for catching up. woo hoo!! Almost all of my best memories from growing up and testing my wings, involve one or all of these ladies. ah, the memories. ;) I always get a little nervous in the days leading up to our mini “reunions”…I think about how we’ve changed and I always wonder if we’ll really be able to pick up where we last left off. I don’t know why I worry because the cadence of us always seems to return effortlessly. So I’m checking out of the blog world for a few days and hopefully when I return they’ll be lots of pictures and stories to tell.
Have a good weekend, friends!