when you’re three…

and your name is Carter Long

and you’ve already learned the tough lesson that it’s never a good idea to put stickers on your penis, there’s still a whole world of things to explore and get into. This is what’s been happening in the world of Carter this January.

It’s friday. I’m home with both kiddos. We’ve had a good morning. I hear the buzz of the dryer go off so I lay Eli in the bouncy seat while Carter is playing nearby. Eli is protesting a bit as I pull the clothes out and fold them in the entry way. For a few seconds there is silence and I think, ooh. maybe he’s chilling out. but then the crying resumes with a bit more fervor.
Still, nothing to be alarmed about. A couple of minutes later, with my arms full of freshly folded clothes, I walk back into the living room. I see the bouncy seat.
No baby.

For a split second I stare at the alarmingly vacant bouncy seat.
“I DID put the baby in there, didn’t I?”

And then I hear it.
“I picked the baby up.” declared very proudly by my three year old, with his head cocked to the side and a big grin on his face. I wheeled around and there, laying on his back in the middle of the couch, lays my 5 week old.

I can’t imagine what that had to look like–the mom in me doesn’t even really want to go there. I can’t decide if the moments of silence I heard while folding clothes was the sound of contentment from being picked up or if Eli was suffocating while Carter bear hugged him to transfer him to the couch.
I’m just grateful there was no life altering injury.

Lesson learned.
There’s a safety belt on those things for a reason.
And two minutes or three minutes of alone time, when you’re three (and your name is Carter Long) is an eternity of time to get into big, big trouble.

Another little development that has occurred since bringing Eli home, is occasional accidents for my potty trained toddler. Prior to the birth, Carter wasn’t having any accidents whatsoever. Since that time, they have happened frequently (although this is much better now). As a result, we’ve had lots of conversations about not peeing in one’s pants; Carter has also had to clean up his messes which has not been fun for the little man. About a week ago, Carter was upstairs playing by himself in the play room while Kyle and I were finishing up dinner. I went up at one point and found Carter in his underwear. I asked him why he took his pants off-he mumbled something-but I didn’t really pay too much attention to it because he’s three. Three year olds do strange things like that. A few minutes after that, Kyle went upstairs to play with him. Shortly afterwards, Kyle comes back down the stairs holding a little playdough bucket with a look on his face that he couldn’t replicate today if he tried. Eye contact with the hubs let me know he was amused and annoyed and that no matter what was in the bucket I shouldn’t laugh because someone was listening and needed to be reprimanded. I glance inside and there, sloshing around, is a few inches of fresh toddler pee.
Carter, following stark naked behind his daddy, once again declares very proudly
“I didn’t pee in my pants!!”
No.
No, you didn’t.

Eli Hudson…the birth!

For an otherwise healthy girl, it seemed like every time I went to my OB appts during the last couple of months, I always left the office with a new diagnosis. :) Every time my doctor would say, “Let’s just do this test. I don’t think it will be positive, I’m sure you’re fine…” the results would come back to declare otherwise. So, it wasn’t a huge surprise at my 37 week appt that my bp was elevated. He talked about possible pre eclampsia but reassured me that it probably wasn’t. He asked me to check my bp a couple of times each day and to call him if it became any more elevated. While at work, later that very same day, we checked my pressure. 170/110. Time to have a baby!!

I was admitted the next morning for pre eclampsia and pregnancy induced hypertension. :) The morning of my induction my BP stayed about like this…until I started to transition, then it shot back up into the 170s/100s.

Rebecca was watching my monitor all the while I labored and she would update my progress (or lack thereof according to the monitor) by saying…’that was a 4!’…which in case you’re wondering, is nothing as far as contractions go. This was confusing to me because I honestly felt like I was getting close to delivering and my insides felt like they were ripping in 1/2. So every time she said ‘that was a 4!’…the dialogue happening silently up in my dome was occasionally laden with expletives. FINALLY, a nurse came in to check on me because my bp alarm was going off. She adjusted my belts and finally, the screen showed contractions that matched what I believed I was feeling. Pain. and plenty of it! ;) A bit of satisfaction. I’ve got your 4 right here!!! LOL

For some reason, because it was a scheduled induction, I just went into the morning believing that drugs would be on board early into the labor process. nope. Not exactly the case. They hung my pitocin at 12 pm and at 12:45 when they checked me I was 8 cm and complete. The anesthesiologist was still no where to be found. My nurse enthusiastically said “let’s just have a baby!!”…but I really didn’t want to have a baby until I had some good drugs. I could feel a bit of panic welling up–I’m just not that girl. It’s the baby actually coming OUT that has me terrified-notsomuch the contractions! I watched a birthing video a few weeks earlier…I saw how huge that baby looked coming out. Dr. Green used his most compassionate doctor face to tell me they would try to get the epidural in but it may not have time to work. At 1:30-ish, the epidural was in. A few bolus doses and the pushing commenced. Eventually it really did help quite a bit. Bliss. Of course, the full effect of the epidural didn’t happen until after Eli was born but nonetheless. I was grateful.
getting the epidural placed

time to push!

Baby Eli was born at 1:51…about to make his big debut!!

Kyle endured a bit of good natured peer pressure by the doc and surprised us all by being able to cut the cord!!! Daddy did amazing. We had to laugh during the labor/pushing phase of the delivery because Kyle had one job and one job only. He was supposed to silence my bp monitor by pressing a button each time it went off. But he was so caught up in the drama of it all…(or he was dissociating and living anywhere but with us in that room) that we had to remind him each and every time to press the button. “Kyle. press the button.” followed by laughter…

No words to describe how much we love this man. He is one of the kindest Ob/GYNs on the planet. hands down.

receiving my baby.

best moment of a mama’s life…kissing that sweet face; snuggling him close; breathing him in. deep, grateful, full love.

Kyle gets to hold Eli. Such a good daddy!!

So happy!

took this on the computer about one week after Eli was born, when he was still itty bitty. :)
one week old…

Baby Eli today…this morning, actually. At nearly two months old. Last weight check he was 11 lbs!!!! He is huge!!

a little update…

I’m not even sure why I still bother with this thing–especially since I feel like facebook keeps us all informed of the happenings in each other’s lives. But because I am a picture book fanatic who neurotically prints these pages off, I find myself here again…wanting to remember this little slice of time in our life as a family.

First, a pregnancy update. I saw Dr. Green this week and found out that baby #2 is a robust 6 lbs already!!! I also was informed that I am 90% effaced and a good 2 cm dilated; the complete opposite of Carter’s pregnancy. Dr. Green seems to think we could have a baby at any time-which has added to my neurotic tendencies. With Carter, I pretty much just knew I would be pregnant forever. (dramatic, yes…considering I was a mere two days over due but that’s what 40 plus anything feels like). This time, knowing what we do, I am acutely aware of every single contraction. I have a bag packed and am ready to get this party to the hospital as soon as there’s the least littlest bit of pain. ;) Having fully experienced transitional labor-(my uterus feels like it’s in a vice grip) the first time around, I will happily accept drugs as soon as they are offered. :) We really haven’t done much with a nursery. Our house is on the market and we decided not to get crazy with decorating a room, knowing we may not be here long. I also have much better perspective on how little is truly needed to bring a peanut home. At any rate, our plans to travel to IN for Thanksgiving have been changed. We will stay here and celebrate with friends.

Carter also turned three years old this week. Crazy. It’s so hard to believe he’s that big already. He cracks us up constantly as of late–lots of personality packed into that tiny body. He has phrases like: “my baby hurts!!” when he has to poop. And “that’s me horn” when he toots. boys. :) We woke him up on his big day singing to him, indulged in cupcakes with sprinkles for breakfast and listened to the excitement of the awe of birthday gifts bursting from his little being as he tore the paper off in a flurry. I was an emotional mess the night before, as I wrapped and baked and cried over sprinkles. I know he’ll never remember these years when it was just the three of us–and while I know our lives are about to get bigger and better with another lil man to love, I will treasure these last few years with every bit of my being.

a few pictures of the last month of life.

Trick-or-treating: a word about the hat…he has TWO very cute fireman hats. this is a $1.00 hat he found at Target which is a construction hat that he insists on wearing backwards…which as one friend stated, gives it a little special ed sort of feel. ;)

with our besties

happy birthday…to MEEEEEE…

36 weeks

severe mercy

“long years before I even knew Davy, my dog, Polly, was struck by a car. The vet said no hope, paralyzed hind quarters, and wanted to put her out. But I thought that I, who loved her, must do it. I went back to Glenmerle and took Polly and my rifle and a piece of steak into the woods. She ate a bit of the steak to please me. And I stroked her and called her good dog till she went to sleep.
then I fired.
There was something about Davy’s death that was, very remotely, like that. Considering the prayers and their answers and considering the events…I cannot escape the impression that Somebody was being very gentle with us. Perhaps she had to die…and I had to live with grief. But He was, perhaps, as gentle with us both as He could be.” Sheldon Vanauken: A Severe Mercy

The past couple weeks in so many ways, have felt just that..severe…which is why when I read this passage on my flight home a couple of weeks ago, i had to keep from falling all to pieces on the plane. Moments of our life these past couple of weeks have been gut wrenching but His goodness and His gentleness have permeated everything. Truly we’ve been blessed with more mercies than we deserve.
I was asked two days ago, where I’ve seen Jesus-particularly over the past few weeks.
and this is where…

in people:
in our mother in law, who sacrificed two solid weeks of her life to come and take care of Carter while our sitter was gone. We had no idea how perfect the timing of her arrival would be. In our Father in Law, who made the drive from IN to TN four times. In my husband, who played the roll of mommy and daddy while I was gone-who has been tender and kind with me and who’s listened for endless hours to the same stories, the same questions, the same tears. In our friends who in a thousand ways have loved us well. In my aunts and cousins who answer every phone call and email; who go with us emotionally even when they can’t go physically. In my beautiful, perfect brand new nephew Bennett. His arrival was unexpected and early but he’s home and well, and we are smitten. In my brother: in his presence, his tears, his strength, his faith, his peace. In my dad-who we haven’t seen since last August but who’s been under our roof the past two nights. His presence, still somehow, is one of my greatest comforts. Life has felt blissfully normal while he’s been here.

In Him plus nothing else.
Thankfully, it’s even deeper then that. His gentleness in the goodness and love of friends has been comforting but it’s been the experience of Him that gives depth, hope and purpose to each day-no matter how severe. I’ve experienced a new kind of longing; I’ve prayed with every bit of my heart engaged; the real kind of prayers that well up from the deepest parts of us. I’ve sang my guts out on the way to work and felt Him as we’ve laid in the quiet dark, waiting for sleep to descend. In retrospect, even though i didn’t see Him then, I see Him now: sitting with us in Arizona-beside me on the plane-close to my mom in her hospital room when we were miles and miles away-with my brother, alone in a hospital corridor. If it’s the painful parts of life that make us cry out for Him, and give new, purposed life to apathetic dead hearts then I’m thankful.

Because for a while, I forgot that the only thing in this life that matters is that I’m His. His daughter.
and He’s gentle and good…and not going anywhere.

“I cannot escape the impression (that in every circumstance-past, present–and what will be) Somebody was being very gentle with us.”

A severe mercy.

A few pictures of tangible goodness from the past few weeks.
“eating poppa’s face”

the men in my life…my favorites.

Carter mastering the art of peeing in the woods. LOL

Bays Mountain

Carter has been asking for a backhoe for months. this weekend his dream came true. thanks to poppa pete and nana rhonda.

hard at work

31 weeks

stealing some shade at the apple festival

poppa tom + trains = bliss

nana bought the hat. :)

oh how he loves her!!

one little weekend in july.

so it’s been a busy weekend but at this exact moment, I am curled up in the living room listening to the thunder above us. I caved and slipped on a pair of maternity pants today which feel ridiculously amazing and comfy, which leaves me wondering why we fight it, so? We’ve enjoyed having Kyle’s parents with us the past few days. Weekends with them in town always means lots of dinners on the deck, a trip to the farmers market, a plethora of fresh fruit and veggies and projects…lots and lots of projects. :) This weekend, we put together Carter’s big boy bed and we decided to completely repaint what will become the boys shared room. I looked at Carter earlier today–laying on his bunk bed, in his spiderman underware and had to double take that it was in fact, my baby boy in there.
but then, just when I was becoming an ounce too sentimental, he threw a mini size tantrum.
ah, there he is!!
sentimental mommy crisis officially diverted.
I can feel baby boy #2 moving around like crazy these days. We sit and throw potential names out at each other while driving in the car, lying in bed, over breakfast, etc.
So far, nothing. Of the hundreds of names we’ve spoken out loud, not one feels quite right. If it were up to Carter, he’d be named buzz. :)

I have way too many pictures to post from this weekend but I’m going to do it anyway. Someday–hopefully soon (right husband?)–we will have a nice new camera for me to capture pictures with. (becs, that is my unofficial disclaimer for using the cheap point and shoot on auto focus). boo. :)

I know these pictures can’t do our weekend justice, but we’ve enjoyed our time together.
and despite my better judgement, a pregnancy picture or two at the end very end.

smitten with his nana and poppa; dinner on the deck our first night together.

BUBBLES!

waiting, waiting, waiting for the big bubble to land…

Catching some teeny tiny fish…

can you see the fish??

at the end of the day…when I honestly look like I’m 7 months. :)

same day; different angle;
can’t imagine what this will look like when i AM, actually, 7 months. lol

there’s a reason we put up with the ‘you’re going to be huge’ comments…
because ultimately, it all leads to moments like this. :)

sweltering heat…but fun in the sun!

I always feel like I have a million things to say but time is so limited it always leaving me rushing just to get pictures posted. :) The past two weekends have been so fun: Memorial day at the lake with some of our besties; playing in the park; in the pool; grilling out, etc, etc. So as is usual for the past two years of our lives, I’ll leave it at that. :)

bed head…and his response to me saying ‘say cheese!’ ;)

Blue Plum!! and for some reason, watching these two stroll around with ridiculous balloon hats on their hands made my heart swell with pride. lol (even if kyle’s looked somewhat freudian)

hopeful to catch a mouth full of water when momma blasts him with the water gun. ;)

surprise!!

So it started like this…

the lightest, faintest tiny pink line ever possible. I scrutinized it from all angles: up close, arms outstretched up in the air, by the light of our bedroom window, outside. and even then, I still wasn’t 100% sure. I was afraid it might be the evaporation line. Kyle wasn’t much help in this department. He very clearly told me he could see the blue line.
thanks.
me too, from across the room. :)
but he couldn’t speculate on a pink line.
I can’t blame him too much. He lives in that very rational world that says, no big deal, we’ll do this again in a few days and it will be obvious. and then he’ll go back to paying bills or working outside without another thought.
not me. totally obsessed and in need of a second opinion. I took this picture and sent it to Rebecca.
blessed confirmation. “something, is definitely there.”

We were on our way to Jamaica where the drinks were free and free flowing so I needed to be 100% sure. We tossed an extra test in the suitcase and I counted the minutes until I could test again.

and there, in beautiful Jamaica, a second line popped up more clearly. I jumped around and made him take a picture. pregnant.
we love pregnant. :)
Virgin drinks on the rocks, please.

As if Jamaica wasn’t fabulous enough, this made the whole trip so much better. A very special way to celebrate 10 years together. Seriously a trip we wont ever forget.

We had our first OB appt and even though I was only 6 weeks along, Dr. Green did a quick ultrasound to make sure everything looked okay. I laid there scrutinizing his face as he stared at the monitor which was facing away from me. I kept waiting for his expression to give me a hint that all was well. And there, all of a sudden, the corners of his mouth turned upwards and he gave me the proud announcement that all looked perfect. He turned the monitor around and I got to see this…

which understandably doesn’t look like much. :) But it is a yolk sac and a developing baby. with a beating heart.

a beating heart.
tears all over the place.

we are 8 weeks and some odd days right now. Perhaps still a little early to make the big announcement but I’ve done remarkably well since I’ve known for a solid month! AND I’m sick as a dog which everyone keeps telling me is a good sign that hormones are on the rise and all is well.

Due date is 12/15/11.
blessed.

suprise!!

So it started like this…

the lightest, faintest tiny pink line ever possible. I scrutinized it from all angles: up close, arms outstretched up in the air, by the light of our bedroom window, outside. and even then, I still wasn’t 100% sure. I was afraid it might be the evaporation line. Kyle wasn’t much help in this department. He very clearly told me he could see the blue line.
thanks.
me too, from across the room. :)
but he couldn’t speculate on a pink line.
I can’t blame him too much. He lives in that very rational world that says, no big deal, we’ll do this again in a few days and it will be obvious. and then he’ll go back to paying bills or working outside without another thought.
not me. totally obsessed and in need of a second opinion. I took this picture and sent it to Rebecca.
blessed confirmation. “something, is definitely there.”

We were on our way to Jamaica where the drinks were free and free flowing so I needed to be 100% sure. We tossed an extra test in the suitcase and I counted the minutes until I could test again.

and there, in beautiful Jamaica, a second line popped up more clearly. I jumped around and made him take a picture. pregnant.
we love pregnant. :)
Virgin drinks on the rocks, please.

As if Jamaica wasn’t fabulous enough, this made the whole trip so much better. A very special way to celebrate 10 years together. Seriously a trip we wont ever forget.

We had our first OB appt and even though I was only 6 weeks along, Dr. Green did a quick ultrasound to make sure everything looked okay. I laid there scrutinizing his face as he stared at the monitor which was facing away from me. I kept waiting for his expression to give me a hint that all was well. And there, all of a sudden, the corners of his mouth turned upwards and he gave me the proud announcement that all looked perfect. He turned the monitor around and I got to see this…

which understandably doesn’t look like much. :) But it is a yolk sac and a developing baby. with a beating heart.

a beating heart.
tears all over the place.

we are 8 weeks and some odd days right now. Perhaps still a little early to make the big announcement but I’ve done remarkably well since I’ve known for a solid month! AND I’m sick as a dog which everyone keeps telling me is a good sign that hormones are on the rise and all is well.

Due date is 12/15/11.
blessed.

a happy Easter weekend.

The weather was GORGEOUS these past two days! Because of that we had plenty of time to play outside; eat in the tree house; color eggs on the deck, and the list goes on. So thankful for these warm, sunny days. What a beautiful weekend to reflect on HIS incredible love and sacrifice for us.

Me and my sweet baby boy

a little personality from the wee one…

Buzz…by far the most beloved gift that the Easter bunny brought. This guy went everywhere with us today.

Sprinkles!! ai ai ai

jamaica!

so we have a ton of pictures but since we literally lived in bathing suits and I don’t want to subject ourselves to that ridicule, I am going to stick to some safe ones. :) I do believe we may have been the whitest couple there–except for the REALLY geriatric dude who walked around the pool with lumps of sunscreen hanging off of him. We could see that guy a mile away. lol

It was a trip full of sunsets and reggae music and all you can eat food all hours of the night and day. my thighs literally doubled in size by the end of the trip. ;)

Maybe more importantly, it was a trip that was bigger than words and photos. We desperately needed that week on the beach and it was perfectly refreshing to our souls. To the grandparents out there, who made this trip possible…we don’t have words to thank you.

Grand palladium lobby

from another angle…