You live.

Most of the time I see Your goodness in our ordinary moments: in impromptu kisses from our toddler; the smell of the woods; in the coo’s of baby E; the feeling of Kyle’s hand in mine; in the sunsets and stars and canopies of trees; in my family gathered around our table; in the phrase, ‘Mommy, will you play with me?’

Sometimes I see Your goodness in those moments that seem so important, they feel forever burned into my mind’s iris: saying our vows; hovering over the stick, breathless and giggling over two lines; the first time holding our babies; sitting with patients and loved ones beside hospital beds; knowing your peace in the swell of grief.

And then there’s days like today when words just aren’t enough.

I can dance and sing and hope and praise because You were bigger than the grave; because You loved us THAT much; because of Your fierce, unconditional love for us, I can call myself Your daughter…and you are good and sovereign and mighty and close.
I know what I am. I know what I deserve. I know that even on my best day, I am sinful and selfish and so utterly unworthy of You. But because of Your Goodness; Your mercy; and the sweet grace and power of Redemption,

I hope.

you didn’t just die that day the earth groaned and went dark.


Thank you, Jesus.


the month in pictures!

chris nicknamed him lumpy…for obvious reasons. ;)

kyle and eli

I was taking pictures yesterday of Eli when I snapped one that reminded me of a picture I’d seen of Kyle at the same age. We went digging…and check.this.out! They are carbon copies of each other!! Love it!

kyle at 3 months…

Eli at 3 months…

potty talk

before bed…Carter is sitting on the potty…taking his sweet time…

M:  Oh, Carter.  You’re getting so big and so grown up.
He watches me for a few seconds, obviously thinking hard.

C:  It breaks your heart, mommy?

M:  (laughing)…well, sometimes it breaks my heart because I just can’t believe you’re not my little baby anymore.

C:  Well.  I’m going to stay this size forever.  That way, your heart won’t have to break.   :)

Sometimes the things this child comes up with just makes me want to kiss his face off. So of course, I leaped up, squeezed his little face and showered him with kisses.   I had to explain to him that mostly mommy’s hearts are full of happy as they watch their babies grow up. This momma, I told him, is absolutely FULL of happy.
Obviously, he’s heard me tell someone recently that it breaks my heart to know my boys are getting so big!  LOL. This thoughtful side of Carter is one we’ve been seeing much more frequently, lately. It’s funny how it ignites this mama bear desire in me to protect him. At this tender age, I think he thinks the biggest threats to his safety and well being are lions and thunder. If only that could always be true.

…30 seconds of potty sitting, contemplative, silence later…

mommy, what’s a heart?  LOL… which led to a whole biology lesson and appropriately came full circle and ended with detailed conversation about poop.  In a house full of boys, I’m finding lots of our conversations end with detailed discussions about poop. 

Without fail, when all is said and done, we typically end up sitting in the bathroom for 20 minutes while C does the big job and contemplates life out loud. It always starts with us helping him onto the potty and before we can escape, the questions commence. As an added bonus, he frequently updates us of his status by telling us how many poops he’s had, the size of the poops, etc.
It’s lovely.

I guess I’m glad our potty talk conversations won’t last forever. It would be creepy and disturbing–and it would speak volumes about our parenting style if grown up Carter needed people to sit with him while he did the big job. (shiver). But three year old Carter is just that. Three. Inquisitive, tender, unfiltered, three.

and he leaves his mommy FULL of HAPPY.


nap time today. 

I hear Carter in the bathroom…

I find him pulling up his pants, just finishing up using the potty.  I go in to the bathroom to check on him and step, barefoot, into something wet.

M:  Carter.  (with my serious, mama bear is about to roar, tone) What IS this? (pointing to the puddle)  Is it water or pee?

C: water.

M: where did it come from?

C:  my penis.


10 weeks

A few short clips of Eli starting to show a little personality and smiles. I was only going to include one of the videos which is why you hear me give a shout out to the nanas and poppas in both…but then I couldn’t pick so i posted them both. LOL. I sound ridiculous…but it’s sort of a must in order to get the big grins.

once upon a sick day…

lots of laying around, being sick this week…so I took pictures. ;) Baby Eli…9 weeks.

…I am crazy, crazy in love with this baby. I know there might be cuter babies out there in this world but oh my word. my heart is just head over heels in love with him. He loves his mama. I could stare at this face all day long.